FREEDOM

A seed when planted needs water and sunlight in order for it to grow and to bear fruits. To start something radical or new someone must first have a plan, to travel somewhere man could go man must begin with a single step to reach his destination.

Today so many books and personalities became famous for issues such as revolution, spirituality, commerce, arts, etc. but all of them are rapidly degrading since the cause of all of it are no longer being comprehended by it's targets, somehow a handful of people are effectively absorbing whatever informations could be found in them, I for one uses them as my greatest weapon in my daily life, I have to admit without any knowledge specially in the Law i would probably be six feet under earth and my parents would still be mourning for the loss of their eldest son, somehow I feel so much blessed that I can still walk, talk, hear and see with thus a simple question is left in my head which plays on every time i lay on my bed, the question is; "to whom should I thank all these blessings".

Four years ago I was so excited with my new university, I was seeking for something new since I was gonna live alone which was good for me and free far away from our house, little did I know that it would somehow become one of the biggest twist in my life.

A.B. Political Science a very nice course description, I was told that if I graduated in that course I could pursue Law or run for any position in the land since it's the one of the easiest way for a politician to dress up, build charisma and win their hearts every time i read it I see myself walking with my bodyguards and people would address me as someone respected and love, some of my classmates wanted to be the same while the others wanted to continue Law, thinking about it a friend of mine finally convinced me to pursue Law in a known university in Manila for as long as we both do good in school, unfortunately I was young and stupid which made me neglect what I'm supposed to do and what my parents sent me there for.

During those times my passion for Philosophy was so great which affected my life pretty much, one of my favorite philosophers was Jean Paul Sartre with his unique philosophy of existentialism all I could remember is that the bottomline of it was that we should not let society be a hindrance for our rationality, me and my classmates though of it and acted as existential as we could some of us even joined activist groups since those were the times where we were so radical and we were all so defiant, at first we though of it as a leisure activity, we make friends talk about Marxists beliefs, Maoists ideals etc., but with all those fun we've forgotten that we are still needed in our classroom to have grades and that our families are hoping something greater from us after a few years away from them, we were late to know that because it quickly affected our studies which made some of us flunk and quit school.

At first I didn't care and I even recruited many of my friends from our town and in our classrooms fame quickly lightened my footsteps during those days we wore the red flag everywhere we go and some notorious gangsters even made us honorary members of their sets for how we show defiance and our own ideals, we were thankful for it since it did aid us pretty much for our cause, soon we've created a vast army of activists rockers, hip-hops, fashionistas, even instructors joined us but what we're proud of is that even the local townsfolk supported us with whatever we were doing and yes for me it was fun.

As time went on we've managed to mix our somewhat hidden talents with our cause, many wrote songs and formed bands which sung songs of struggle and defiance, some had talents in writing, poetry which became a good help. I have managed to form a band I was their front man I never had the talent of singing but I didn't care all I needed was the passion and the strong messages of our lyrics and somehow it caught the attention of our friends, with that we we're once again became known in this angle of our society, we became part of the Tarlac Hardcore Scene which many of us wanted from the beginning.

As time went on some of us went on with their lives and they lived it the way they wanted to, some said their goodbyes while some just left, for all of them we never branded them as deserters we know that somehow they needed to do that, I somehow continued it with almost anyone I meet trying to open up his or her eyes into something new or just to remove the conservatism and dogmatism in their minds, sometimes I succeeded but most of the time I end up being used or just the plain victim, soon I had to change my lifestyle and try to live another one because an emergency happened in our family death was finally knocking in our family and it wants to put an end to all the laughters me and my family members once shared, with that fact I had to give it all up and live in a new town, new friends and even in a new aim, at first I didn't like it because the environment was congested and there were lesser existentialists in it but soon I've managed to adopt with their culture thanks to all of those books that I've read about cultures, beliefs, and traditions.

As my days passed on my skill of gaining friends which is known as charisma somehow helped me in contacting some old friends, with them I finally saw how a catchy philosophy would somehow become real, it's "nothing in life is permanent, only changes is constant", I've seen how young and jolly friends had their wife with them carrying their babies, I've seen some with their fancy cars with their girlfriends, I've seen some with their work stressed and unhappy somehow I've realized that money isn't really what defines success.


Some of them were unfortunate because they never had the chance to graduate and have a job for their family, some just went away and as if they've forgotten us but it really didn't matter because those whom I've favored the most remained true and still present whenever I needed someone to bully or just to share my wacky rather dangerous experiences but the best part of it is that they we're there whenever I needed a crying shoulder to wipe my mucus off, some were there to even buy me a bottle of booze to unwind, some were there to take advantage of my weakness and use their body as an object of sin and an object of pleasure for me to somehow forget my own personal dilemmas.

Sometimes I wonder if there is something great waiting for me for the following day, sometimes whenever I see someone who acts, talks, and dresses someone from the past it's as if I am seeing someone from the past which makes me remind of all those treasured moments I've spent with them and all those activities which built me for what I've become now.


Somehow the question of whom to thank is slowly unfolding whenever I see some changes, they may seem to be somehow slow but what matters most is that there is a victory with all of my struggles, there is still joy for all of my sorrows in my
relationships, there is still happiness after today, there is still laughter waiting just around the corner for me to laugh like as if there is no tomorrow, as a friend used to tell me; "while you're young do anything you wish for as long as it does not harm anyone for you shall no longer pass that road anymore any good thing you must do, do it now not later, not tomorrow live your life".