Kwento ni Kuya(A Brother's Story)

CKone

2011-07-27T06:43:00.001-07:00

Nilo Ramos; my dearest and my favorite uncle, the father that I wished I had, he's the coolest uncle in the world. He spoils me with a lot of things but never failed to guide me in life. He fought cancer for more than two years; but unlike my dad he lost the battle. On July 25th at exactly 9:39pm in the evening he left us and his family forever.

I was at my office's gym trying to burn some carbs when I suddenly felt a cold chill going down my spine, I ignored it thinking that it's just the airconditioning. When I finally decided to hit the showers I received my sister's text about what happened, that's when I realized that uncle Nilo was just nearby.

When he was still alive he used to give me a gentle tap on my shoulders when I eat while complimenting my slightly buffed body. He used to tell me that I should've joined the army when I was a bit younger.
I was alone in the shower room when I was able to grasp the fact that he gave me a short visit.

My heart was crushed knowing the fact that I wasn't able to visit him in the hospital. I wasn't able to see him before he left us ;but Whenever I think of it I become a bit ironic thinking that it's for the best because, Whenever I think of my uncle I picture him as a buffed handsome middle aged man always wearing a neat polo-shirt and khaki-shorts smiling back at me with his suave hairdo and signature scent of CKone that's my uncle.

My memories with him are forever in my heart and will never be forgotten. The friendship, the love, and the guidance will always be remembered and be told among those of who ask about my uncle, Petronilo Ramos. Rest in Peace uncle we will definitely miss you.

Oka-San

2011-05-05T22:04:00.000-07:00

to my dearest mother, always patient and understanding. the person who showed me what courage really means. ever supportive and loving, never missed a chance to make me feel that i am loved in both big and small countless ways. the person who never left me even in my darkest hours. the first person who loved me and accepted me with my many imperfections. the first person who believed in me doing many impossible things. the person who showed me the colorful life filled with dreams. the person who taught me to respect and understand how women think and behave. the person who brought me out of this wonderful world. i owe my life to you.. i love you mama Helen Matsuoka HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY.

Araw ng Manggagawa (Labor Day)

2011-05-01T00:12:00.000-07:00

para kay mamang tsuper
usok at polusyon araw-araw mong kaaway
munit ito'y di naging sagabal sa pasaherong kakaway
sa tungkuli'y di naging sagabal
tunay na maaasahan na kami'y ligtas na makararating salamat sa iyo

para kay ale sa palengke
baho at lansa maghapon mong nalalanghap
mabenta lang ang panindang aking hanap
pagod sa pagsigaw ni minsa'y di mo nireklamo
panawid gutom ng mag-anak ko ay utang ko sayo, salamat sa iyo

para kay kuya sa pabrika
maghapong trabaho di naging hadlang sa iyong galing
likha moy aking tatangkilikin
ating ipagmalaki ang sariling atin
ako'y nakilala sa likha mong kay ganda, salamat sa iyo

para sa mga alwagi
kampante akong magpahinga sa bahay na gawa mo
sa bawat gusaling naitatayo mo marka nito ang tiyaga ninyo
sa bawat pag puk-pok at paglagari mo
utang namin ang opisina, ospital, pabrika atbp. sa taglay mong talino salamat sa iyo

para sa mga guro
pagbasa't pagsulat iyong itinuro
tiyaga sa pagpuyat para kami'y matuto
kaalaman ay tunay na utang sa iyo
kinabukasan ko'y naging matatag salamat sa iyo

Kazoku no Aii (Love in Family)

2011-04-26T22:52:00.000-07:00

Love, it can easily be defined within your family. Let me tell you how the past years of my life has been a life long journey in defining what love is, thanks to my family. Love is when my Oto-san (Father) would spend all his day at our farm under the scorching sun and wouldn’t care how the grass cuts his feet for as long as I would have something to eat. Love is when my Oka-san (Mother) finds time to have small talks with me and kiss me on my cheeks after even if she is so busy. They both made me understood that Love is sacrifice. When I was young, love was also abundant. It happens whenever my little sister Hiroko would let me sleep beside our parents even though it’s her turn, It also happens when she gives me her share of chocolates and apples even if she craves for more, and in return I give her my vegetables. She showed me that love should be shared. These are experiences which defined love to me, but the best of them all is when my 93 year old Oba-san (Grandmother) showed me the last definition of it. Oba-san has Alzheimer’s disease she no longer recognizes me, the once young kid who sits on her lap and sleeps on her bosoms. Last week when I held her hand to pay my respects she looked at me and asked “Mr. have you seen my little grandson, If you do please tell him that I miss him. Boy has he grown so fast! I’ve heard that he has a job now and works in the city. He is very dear to me and I love him so much”. Tears ran from my eyes and from that day she made me realize that love never fades. Finally with the help of my family love is now clear to me, thanks to all of them.

In this Moment By Naiad

2011-03-26T05:44:00.000-07:00

In this Moment

Standing by Time , facing its end,
name of the fear, call it courage
Searching for the answer, an endless why?
Storm of the thoughts rush and blow
One emotion shows seven colors
Shine and glitter sometimes form a figure
flows on the cheek, soundless stream

In this moment we all live
Precious moment counts forever,
goes on forever to meet something new,
but it won't repeat, never twice
Ask yourself
What is the life?
TO FACE YOUR TRUE, own free will
accepting, AND SPITTING OUT,
Live your life, your own journey
LIVE OUR LIFE, NOTHING BUT A TRUTH!

resources:
http://www.hibeamlyrics.com/in-this-moment-lyrics-naiad.html

pag-agos

2011-02-08T23:48:00.000-08:00

kanina tinig moy tila nadinig

boses ng pagibig

pagibig na aking ikukubli

madama lang ang lambot ng iyong labi

kanina anino moy tila nasilayan

pagluha koy ito'y pinatahan

pinatahan ang takot at lungkot

yakap moy nariyan na aking maaabot

kanina amoy mo'y nalanghap

tila nasa alapaap

alapaap, langit pag kapiling ka

sanay wag ka nanag mawala aking sinta

corn

2011-02-08T23:47:00.000-08:00

my heartbeat pounded

spelled your name aloud

the air became thin

unable to swallow air from within

blinded by the color of your skin

your kindness is what gives you beauty within

sweet is your love

thank you for letting me have

Future

2011-02-01T02:39:00.000-08:00

Whew! finally! we've just finished our UA&P entrance exam, I sure hope that I pass. The exam wasn't easy specially the Abstract Reasoning part, most of my classmates who took it with me says it was the easiest part and the Mathematics part was the real deal.

It's been what 2 and a half years since i talked about work. I had to admit that I was so ungrateful because of the stress I've been enduring for what? 5 months? now It's been almost two years since I first walked the floors of my workplace, almost two years since I've first received my salary through ATM. I never thought that I would still be here.

November of last year, I received an e-mail about an invitation to participate in our company's scholarship program which will be catered by UA&P; The UA&P! It was so good to be true which almost made me delete the e-mail, It took me time to reply because the e-mail was sent by our director, so I had to make sure my grammar is correct and stuff. I finally snapped out of it and applied.

Hopefully I get to study in UA&P and finish my studies. I'm 23 and I need to do something good before I reach 30.

TESTIFY

2010-04-15T04:43:00.000-07:00

Ice cream the perfect creation of man to save us from this hellish temperature; It is hot and it's not turning me on, I am not gonna write about Ice cream and I am not gonna write about what turns me on and off; I will be writing about a small misadventure that happened to me about a week ago.

Last week I was on my way home to La paz, Tarlac a small town in Central Luzon in Philippines it's a town with a population of 16,000 and the main source of income would be farming, poultry and fishery, some would be lucky enough to start their own business and earn some good money; I was riding a Five Star Bus via SCTEX(Subic Clark Tarlac Expressway) the faster route going North from Manila I was tired and exhausted and decided to take a nap while travelling the journey was fast way too fast for me to notice, which made me sleep past my stop I woke up in the next province Nueva Ecija; the Eastern province which is right next to Tarlac I quickly stood up and ran towards the exit yelling at the driver to stop, he quickly complied and hit the breaks so fast I almost slammed my face on the wind shield; the passengers laughed at me and when I got out of the boss I had no clue which part of Nueva Ecija I was; I asked a bystander and he told me that I am already in Cabanatuan City 2 hour drive going back to La Paz; luckily I still had some spare cash in my wallet because I usually bring the exact amount of money that I would be needing for the day; a very bad habit.

I was in the middle of nowhere no clue whatsoever which way is home; I was most probably somewhere in the outskirts of the city a 20 minute walk to get a pedicab and drive my ass to the nearest Bus station to go back home; as I mentioned I was tired and exhausted so I decided to bum around a bit light a piece of cigar I was keeping in my bag and wait for a bus to stop by because they'll be passing by the road anyway.

I looked at the city from my location and noticed how much it grew for the last decade shopping malls were built; restaurants, commercial buildings etc. It somehow reminded me when I was a little boy when my mum and I used to go here there wasn't too many shopping malls the biggest was the N.E. Bodega where we would buy some rice cakes for my dad and grandma and that was it nothing much to see; but now you'd go dizzy on how many choices of rice cake would be available; lot's of malls and restaurants for you to dine in; a lot of things has changed.

When I got back to La Paz I've noticed how slow the development of our town was; there was no new business establishments still the same bakery; still the same hardware shop; still the same market 20 years ago. It somehow made me ask myself why? what went wrong?

If you'll study the life of a common Lapazeno there would be atleast 3 results; the first one the successful Lapazeno's these are hardworking people who was lucky enough to go abroad save some money and start a business in Lapaz; some of them would be the people who has the skills and will to harvest the sweet fruits of success through hard work and perseverance. The next in line would be the educated people who would eventually get successful by following the conventional way of getting a job being promoted etc. and make it big time in the corporate world; or these are the intellectuals who would apply all their learned skills through adequate education in several ways of helping out the town; these are what I call modern day heroes; A friend once told me that she took up education in a popular university in Manila so that once she graduates she would go back and settle down in La paz to teach and educate so that she can break the cycle poverty in our town; What cycle of poverty? the last but not the least would be the hardworking people who had no other choice but to follow how their parents ways and means of living ; these are the people who couldn't afford to go to school and get proper education; people who are still ignorant about the modern day technologies and who wouldn't bother know these things and would rather stick to what they know and die with it; a good example she gave me was a family with a father and a mother who are farmers and never got any education due to poverty; these parents would eventually had no adequate resources to send their kids to school so they would have their children work with them in the farm until they grow up raise their own family and do the same thing so that they would have something to eat for each and every day of their lives; my good friend has this desire to break that chain, that cycle.

I know that there are a lot of provinces in this country who are also has this same scenario; as member of the youth I say get rid of the idea that we are in the middle of nowhere; get rid of the idea of not being able to do something for the future; this is us this is our time make a choice stand up and do something.

Numbers

2010-01-05T03:13:00.000-08:00

It was 5 hours until we enter 2010; I was browsing some articles about Numerology and Pyrokinetics some topics that I use to read about to keep my mind busy and ignore time; while browsing an article about Numerology a pop-up suddenly caught my attention, it says free readings about your life, work, blah~ blah~ what I loved about it is that it's FREE; a part of me says DO NOT register because it might be a scam or some hacker trying to get a hold of my credit card; and use my identity for fraudulent activities; but come to think of it I don't have a freaking credit card and I was only required to give some information such as my name and my birthday which I'm pretty sure won't be sufficient to use for fraud so I said to myself "What the heck let's give it a shot!"; and so I registered entered my name and b-day which was only required and gave me a message in my e-mail that I need to wait for about 48 hours for me to receive the first reading; so I imeediately closed the window because I was under the impression that It would give me some readings within that very moment; a couple of days passed and while I was sending some e-mails for my relatives in the states I suddenly remembered the Numerology reading so I've browsed my mails and there it was my very first Numerology readings by Blair Gorman while reading it I was amazed because some of my secrets were there; even what people used to describe me was somewhat accurate; at first I hated to admit that It amused me but reading all of it gave me a conclusion to post it here in my blog and to wait for my buddies to read it and then call me if it's for real so here it goes:

Yoichiro, your Life Path of 5 ...

You are about freedom, independence and the right to follow where your heart and gut-instincts lead you in life. You are an inquisitive soul with many questions that can only be answered through travel, exploration and experiencing a variety of life situations. For this reason you are likely to relocate to various cities or countries during your life and also entertain a number of life partners as opposed to just one soul mate.

You are best suited to freelance work or being your own boss as stuffy offices and rigid routines are deadly to your imagination and soul. You are a great lover of human nature as well as one of it's greatest observers, which is why you would make a good archaeologist, historian, writer, journalist, reporter or artist.

You are great at dealing with people and also do well in any "front line" occupation. For instance many crisis workers, emergency care workers and leaders of self- groups are fives. You need a job that allows you to meet a lot of people as well as brings you a variety of interesting experiences.

You also have quite a spiritual bent to your personality that may send you on many personal vision quests. It is not unusual for a 5 to also belong to many different religions during his or her life or suddenly in mid-life to drop everything in pursuit of a life-style that is the complete opposite of the former one.

One of your challenges is learning how to not waste time. Your perception of time is somewhat distorted which is why you are often late to meetings or sometimes unable to meet deadlines. Novelties and new ideas also easily distract you so sometimes it is difficult for you to choose a career or lifestyle and stick with it. As a result, others may also find you indecisive and frustrating to deal with.

Another challenge that you face on your life path is being overly irresponsible. Many 5's have a habit of taking off when the going gets rough. You tend be quite casual about your relationships and have a great deal of trouble managing any type of emotional crisis. You may even experience panic at the idea of commitment, as you don't like the idea of being responsible to another person. For this reason, many of you have a number of serial relationships rather than just one life long love.

If you are unable to physically escape circumstances that you can't emotionally handle or don't like, you are also prone to escaping through substance abuse. This is part of the unpleasant self-indulgent trait that is part of many number 5 personalities.

Finding one focus and sticking with it is definitely your biggest life challenge. Most 5's are multitalented but they never stay in one place long enough for one of their projects to grow and blossom. Seeing things through to completion is the best way to make sure that you don't suffer poverty or bitterness in your later years.

One of your greatest talents is the ability to communicate, either verbally or through the written word. Your expansive observations of life plus your ability to see all points of view makes you an excellent teacher. Most 5's end up teaching at one point in their life so others can benefit from the rich tapestry of their life experience.

You are also a daring spirit that has a love of adventure. You are usually very physically fit and enjoy good health for your entire life if you stay away from overindulging in drink and food.

Yoichiro, your Soul Urge of 5 ...

What You Desire To Be, To Have, and To Do In Your Life

You love change. You live to experience as much as possible in the shortest amount of time possible. You appreciate the fact that life is short and are bound and determined to make the most of every minute you have on this earth. You have an inquisitive mind and a thirst for adventure that is only slaked by the collecting of unusual experiences and plenty of travel.

Your adaptable nature puts you at home anywhere. You are also a bit of chameleon that is able to transform its appearance and nature to suit the environment. You are a big believer in the phrase "When in Rome.. Do as the Romans do." Your closet is usually full of many costumes, as part of your soul's satisfaction is to do a bit of \"play acting\" in real life.

You also possess the rare gift of detachment. Emotionally this grants you the ability to have a serial number of relationships throughout your life yet not suffer any kind of trauma or nasty consequences when one ends. However your casual attitude towards relationships often devastates others who interpret your adventurous spirit as an unwillingness to settle down and put down roots. This gives you the reputation of being "shallow" or a "heartbreaker" when nothing could be further from the truth. You simply don't connect to others in the same way they do to you and you are frustrated by those who can't seem to get on with their life the same way you are able to.

In fact you can't think of a bigger disservice to one's soul than to give up one's right to pursue their heart's desire. You feel smothered by individuals who define love as giving up your heart and soul for another. Your definition of love is more spiritually sophisticated. You believe that an expression of true love for another soul is the courage to let them go to pursue their own path.

Another one of your blessings is that it simply does not occur to you to be overemotional about things or create dramas. You are a very difficult person to pick a fight with as you have a pacifist nature. You simply see ugly emotional scenes as beneath you and you are often long gone before a battle of wills is likely to take place.

You are also very accepting of different cultures and in particular, religious and political points of view. Unfortunately others see this omniscience as procrastination or as two faced as you have a way of "agreeing with everyone." Your refusal to take a stand sometimes costs you dearly professionally. This is often a mystery to you as from your point of view all you were doing is being fair.

You intrinsically understand that without change there is no evolution. This is why somehow, many of you end up as being the catalyst for change in many situations. Sometimes the change that your very presence provokes is constructive and good and sometimes you are the culprit that causes complete chaos. However often your motivation for revealing secrets or destroying relationships is to clear out the old and create way for the new.

You are also graced with an astounding amount of courage. Like water you have the ability to wear down obstacles like water in a stream wears down a rock over a long period of time. Although you may appear unpredictable or unreliable to others you are actually a very complex individual who often harbors a clear vision of who they want to be and how they want to live in the future.

Yoichiro, your Expression of 5 ...

Your Potential Natural Talents and Abilities

You are optimistic, inquisitive and embrace change. You are a freedom-loving individual who expresses their love of independence often through a bohemian or unusual life style. You are blessed with a brilliant creative mind that is never at a loss for a solution to a problem.

As your independence is so important to you, you thrive best in creative occupations that allow you a great deal of travel. You have an eye for design and appreciate the good things in life. In fact, you may spend a lot of your time trying to figure out how to get these things without having to work too hard.

If you are a typical five then you will meet with the most success by selling some aspect of yourself or your talent. The height of your personal expression is in your talent for persuasion. This is why you are best suited for jobs in media, marketing and design.

You very much believe that a person is defined by what he does and not what he wants to do so any business or project that you start will be very much branded with your personal flair. It is a number 5 that tends to name a business after himself or send out a resume with a photo.

When it comes to business you also tend to have a "hands on" approach as you rely a lot on your wit, charm and good looks to get what you want. Once the deal is sealed, however, you sometimes have difficulty seeing it through to completion. This is because your brilliant mind is captured by so many other interests that it is difficult for you to focus sometimes.

Sometimes your need to express your independence brings you to a critical point in both your professional and personal relationships. You are terrified of being stuck in one place or having your free spirit suffocated by labels and possessiveness. For this reason many of you feel quite suffocated in relationships or are unable to hold down a day job for any length of time.

You are very popular socially because you are the life of every party. You have light nimble mind and have excellent verbal skills. You also have enormous powers of analysis that gives you an edge when it comes to investing money, judging others and avoiding harmful situations.

You are also very accepting of new people and new ideas. The last thing that could ever be said of you is that you are closed minded. You will try anything once and you often respond willingly to a dare. However, sometimes your permissiveness leads to relationships with odd or unstable individuals.

Romantically others may find you hard to get close to as you would rather sit and chat than get intimate. Others fail to understand that the most valued expression of your love is the expression of your hopes and dreams to another.

You are also very pragmatic when it comes to all of your relationships and believe in treating everyone equally. Deep down you are very philosophical about relationships and believe that no person should be so important that he or she should have the power to make you happy or sad. This can often distress your soul mate who doesn't feel that special in your presence. Part of your challenge might be showing through your actions, how loving all without sacrificing one can be achieved.

~END~

So there you go; if by chance you're interested to get your own reading just click this link

Numerology

Playing Tag with Death

2009-10-15T01:56:00.000-07:00

It has almost been a month now when a calamity struck my beloved country; almost 710 casualties and billions of properties has been ravaged, studies says that the last time this kind of tragedy happened it was like 4 decades ago and this one is worse.

September 26' 09
9:27am

It was a rainy Saturday morning after my usual work when a persistent taxi driver kept on yelling at me saying "hali ka na sakay ka na!" ( get on and let's go ) I ignored him but he kept on calling my attention; It was never my plan to go home during this day because it's cold and I was so damn lazy to travel for an hour and a half riding a congested public bus, All I wanted was to go home in my auntie's house in Karangalan Cainta, Rizal and spend the weekend by watching movies and studying some new techniques in cooking Hindu foods; I was so sleepy and wanted to go home as soon as possible sleep for a couple of hours and begin my small adventure alone, but a loud voice captured my attention "pre! wala ka nang masasakyan!" ( you won't be able to catch any ride brother! ) so without any further hesitations I quickly leaped over a fence and covered my head with my jacket to shield it from the pouring rain; and all I could remember was the face of a fat bus driver who almost hit an old lady in our town and alas I was home in Tarlac overslept for almost 6 hours and woke up in my cozy bed with my little brother giggling; I woke up and asked him what's so funny and he told me that I was snorring like a Cow.

After brushing my teeth and switching the Television on a FLASH NEWS suddenly interrupted a daily show i used to watch ( Darna with Marian Rivera ) and it was about some water dams in Manila and all I heard was Marikina, Pasig, and Cainta are all underwater and people are stranded and was evacuated to some schools; I was surprised because earlier that day It was my bollocks plan to stay in my auntie's house in Cainta and explore new stuffs; I was shocked seeing the terrifying events of people stranded on top of their houses and nearly freaked out because I saw a very familiar place near my auntie's house and it was 6 feet underwater people are crying and all I thought of during that point of time is that WHAT IF I DIDN'T GO HOME; would I come to my senses and climb on top of the roof; and wait for a some rescue which would seem impossible because we don't have any ladder or maybe just freak out and panic then die of drowning. My mother was so worried because we have a relative in Country Side, Pasig and we could not reach them she was worried because her sister was left by her husband and she only lives with two of her daughters with her 1 year old grandchild; we stayed up for further updates in the news waiting for any information about that place but there was none.

September 31 09
Thursday
10:00 am

My mum finally received a phone call from my aunt who lives in Pasig, saying that they're OK because they've managed to evacuate and stay for a few days in their neighbors' house a few hours before their house went underwater; she was crying because they've lost everything they own and that they would have to begin from scratch once again; but as we all know a Filipino family never abandons each other specially in times of trials. Few more days passed and water began to disappear in Marikina, Pasig and Cainta but the damage was done and these towns became like ghost towns; houses were abandoned people sleeps outside their houses watching their things; but their determination to continue with their lives never faltered; this is what really amazes me with my fellowmen no matter how strong the storm is we will manage to stand firm and strong until another storm comes.

I took a leave on my work for four days because my aunt's house in Cainta is still filled with mud and still too dirty for someone sane to live in; right after four days me and my uncles and cousins went their in Cainta to clean the house and fix some broken appliances; when we arrived I couldn't recognize the place it was like in the movie war of the world people are lining to get their bag of relief goods; houses are filled with mud even shopping malls cars we're soaked with water and filled with mud; one thing i noticed was you can identify the pain due to what they've endured by looking at their eyes, the sadness bought by watching their houses, properties and loved ones vanish.

October 4 09
9:00am

Three days ago "Pepeng" Codename Parma was sighted east of a Visayan town in Borongan it was predicted to make a landfall in Aurora two provinces away from my hometown Lapaz, Tarlac within 36 hours.

A text message woke me up; from my colleague in my fraternity he told me to wake my lazy ass up because it's our anniversary and we have a motorcade I rushed towards our bathroom took a quick shower and wore my fancy fraternity shirt and joined the motorcade; we assembled atleast 2 jeepneys 20 motorcycles 5 try-cycles and 1 land cruiser with our banner.

During the motorcade we've noticed one thing it's that the previous typhoon Ondoy codename Ketsana destroyed everything that our fellow Lapazeno's tried to work on for the past few years; these are their main source of income farms, poultries, fishponds, etc. in a poor community similar to Lapaz these properties treated as treasures, cherished treasures.

The rice farms which was schedules to be harvested after a few days are underwater all destroyed; farmers would say "Sana kinain na lang ng mga hayop o kaya mga ibon kaysa sa nasira kahit papano may nakinabang" ( it would be better if birds or any animals ate these crops atleast they won't go to waste ) these crops are supposed to be harvested then sold at the local market and the money would be used for Chirstmas and the upcoming celebration of our town fiesta; but all was gone a work of 6 months was within 6 days; After our motorcade we all decided to end the day with food, booze and cigarette sticks.

The next morning a flash news caught my attention saying that another super typhoon will hit northern Luzon and residents are advised to look for high places or two storey houses to temporarily stay because 4 dams will release their excess waters and surely a lot of town would be underwater including Lapaz; and indeed it came the water came into our town during the night when most of us were asleep it's a good thing that we were informed to be alert when the water comes so most of the male members of each family woke up all night to watch out of their belongings and loved ones.

October 5 09'
10:15am
Early that morning a loud speaker phone woke me up I saw my neighbor shouting about some relief goods to be given by some non-government units and charitable institutions in our town and also that there will be a three day power failure in our town due to some faulty wiring; I asked myself "when the fuck did the wirings in our town become NOT FAULTY?", so I went out of our house to check on our house If it has already been drifted by the water like Noah's Ark, and what happened while I was asleep to my surprise It hasn't reached the Mediterrenean because It's still in Tarlac, but the grassy fields became like rivers constantly flowing with water; the water was clear as if like our town was in the middle of a lake.

after smoking a cigar a good method of helping me sink some events in my mind I went out of the road and saw some of my childhood friends running towards the other block I asked one of them where they're headed and they told me that some relief goods are being given out, so I followed them and tried to grab a bag for myself but the line was already so long before we reached it and soon realized that the goods won't reach us because there were only 3 sacks left.

some went home empty handed while the others shared their bag of goods to their neighbors this amazed me and somehow made me realize the beauty of living in a "barrio" because camaraderie never failed to exist in each and everyone; oh and by the way these relief goods were immediately given out by religious groups in our town, some were donations by some small business units and for the local government unit i haven't heard any and i don't give a fuck.

a few days later the water finally disappeared and everything went back to normal; students went back to their schools to clean their classrooms market vendors went back to their stalls which was 4 feet underwater during the flood, farmers tried to harvest the soaked crops and re-plant them.

Families were finally able to go back to their houses, I did not take any more pictures of this because of the sad view, to give you an idea most of the houses here are small and made of wood very fragile and it houses 5-7 family members, whenever a family arrives mothers begin to cry same thing with the fathers who will immediately try to fix their house picking up sticks and borrowing hammers to fix what's left and would soon realize that the damage was impossible to fix.

another sad chapter of my life; another story to tell I just wish that something could be done to prevent this tragedy, no more families crying of destroyed homes, no more wasted crops, no more.

"Hi This is Yoichiro How may I assist you today?"

2009-08-25T05:38:00.000-07:00

It's been three months since I've left my town to try and discover another pace of this journey called life; I never imagined myself adapting once more in a new scenario with different characters trying to play a role and become someone who plays a significant part, well I guess we are all part of this "show" and we're bound to do this again and again; because we are part of the all singing and all dancing crap of this world; and yes I've coined that from the movie fight club.

It took quite a while for me to adapt in this congested area filled with different kinds of people; waking up everyday hoping to make ends meet; hoping to feed their family; or just to survive, but to do this you must have a plan or a scheme to get through the day, some work their asses off, some use their wits to outsmart another, some would just bum around and still make it through the day.

I could still remember as if it was yesterday when I was scheduled for an interview for the company I work for now; I was kind of nervous and a bit shocked because I could not believe that a "punk-ass" like me would wear some sleeves, slacks, and black leather shoes, to give a good impression to the person who'll interview me; I was scheduled for 2:00pm but arrived 2:40 because it was raining and I got lost; and my luck does not really end there because I forgot to bring an umbrella so to sum it all up I arrived late and was soaked with water and still went on for my interview.

It went well since it was just a usual interview but one question bothered me and until know I'm hoping that I could get a chance to answer that question again; the question was: during my term as a public servant what were my difficulties and how did I manage to overcome them; well to be honest I lied to that person telling him that the problems I encountered was just time management and I've managed to overcome it by setting my priorities first for the short term and then make another one for the long term goals; yes I lied, because what I really wanted to tell him was the most difficult part of dealing with my job as a public servant was encountering "trapo" or traditional politicians yes it was difficult because you would never know their schemes and agendas you'll never know if what they're telling you are lies and would only benefit them or worse just to use you; I have to be honest maybe the reason for this difficulty is because It was my first time to work as a public servant ignorant of this kind of people; I wanted to tell him that for as long as we are not vigilant enough this traditional politicians they would abuse their power and use our ignorance for their own good for as long as they want; and until now I am still regretful of being powerless during those times I am still hoping to get another chance to show these "trapo" that we the masses can survive without their lies which blinds us from the truth, I didn't mention any of this to that person because I know he wouldn't give a damn about it.

After the interview I was told that they would call me after 24 hours to know if I'm in or not; I went home in our town waiting for a good news; I arrived just in time for the 6 o'clock news so I sat down in front of the T.V. and ate my dinner while watching after pigging out I fell asleep on our couch and went into a deep slumber, I woke up the following day 10:00 my usual time of waking up and saw my cellphone with 15 missed calls and 3 messages; I didn't bother opening it and went back to sleep I finally managed to rise on 12:18 and had the liberty of reading the messages to my surprise it was the number of the company and a message saying that I am scheduled for a contract signing on the 16th of June I was happy reading that because finally I could stop being a student/part-time bum in my family's house; I told this to my mom and made lunch for me my favorite "torta" eggplant dipped with egg and fried, YUM!

On the 16th I wanted to look presentable and sneaked into my sister's room and took some magazine to check what would be the latest outfit for men, too bad what I got was a couple of YES magazine featuring kris aquino and KC concepcion and 1 candy mag, so what I did was use my resourcefullness and browsed through the pages and looked on the outfit of the men and wrote down what they look like, YES I wrote them down, after reading a segment about a good SPA in laguna I threw them back in my sister's room and brought out all of my dress and it took me an hour to decide what to wear at first I wanted to wear my white MADBALL shirt pairing it with khaki pants and white adidas shoes and that would definitely make me look like a ghetto from NY but decided to wear again polo with sleeves and the same khaki with leather shoes after taking a bath and wearing this dress I stared at the guy in the mirror and admired him a bit fixed my hair and went on my schedule.

In the office I waited for my name to be called to have an orientation and to sign some documents after a few hours a cute girl called: "Mr. matsuuuka?" I immediately stood up and corrected her and she told me to enter the room where the orientation would take place; in the room I saw 2 women talking about their children 1 man in his late 40's,one teenager who kept on texting and another guy who happens to be gay who was in the phone having a fight with his boyfriend after a few minutes the same girl who mispronounced my name entered and went on with the orientation; the last part was the actual contract signing and she told us that our training would be scheduled next week.

During my training the same people were; the first part of the training was the communication skills training and an introduction of Canada since it was a Canadian account I was actually surprised to know that Keanu Reeves and Mike Myers were Canadian; I wanted to ask our trainer if he watches South Park or if it is still being aired in Canada; all of us passed this part of this training I've got an average of 97.68% it lasted for 2 and a half weeks and then shifted to the product specialization part wherein we will be trained for 3 weeks to know the system and know all of the products i had a hard time in this part since It was my first call center experience I didn't know what the hell an Avaya is; I didn't know what an "opening spiel" is and I didn't know how in heaven's name are we gonna convince a Canadian to have internet and use Long Distance with us; but fortunately I've managed to learn all of this and passed this part of training with an average of 89.32% lower than the communications training having those two we now proceeded for the call assessment wherein we would be monitored twice during a call and check how we handled it and if we applied what we've learned during our training I guess it was luck which made me pass this because almost half of our wave received an L.O.D ( letter of discontinuance ) for not being able to reach the required grade my two calls were just about billing disputes which I'm kind of good at; after these examinations we are now endorsed in the regular queue.

So now I am working in this company not really that happy because I find it really tiresome and our benefits aren't really that good, maybe it's just that I'm new or the system is difficult or the company expects too much from us in exchange for little benefits, so what I could see in the near future would be me looking for another Job or another company with the same industry or to go in Japan and stick to my dad's plan and work my ass off their atleast I am sure that the benefits would be heavenly; but still I would never forget the hardships I endured just to get in this company, the times when I get irrate Canadians denying their long distance calls and for unsatisfactory products, the times I defacate in their comforting bathrooms, and the times I snore in their snooze box and wake all of my officemates; all of this would be charged on experience

Tagalog

2009-05-22T20:18:00.000-07:00

"Odox", "Isaw", Calamares, mga pangkaraniwang pinakapaboritong merienda ng mga Pinoy, pang-pulutan man o munting panawid gutom tiyak panalo ito sa kung sino man ang makakatikim nito.

Konting saw-saw at babad sa suka at asin lang ang katapat tiyak solb ka at ang mga kasama mo, tiyakin lang na huwag mapasobra kung ayaw mong ma-high blood.

Tunay na nakakabilib ang galing ng mga Pilipino ang kanilang diskarteng maghanap-buhay ay bukod tangi, at dito lang sa ating bansa makikita, sino ba naman ang mag-aakalang ang mga tira-tirang parte ng baboy at manok ay mapakikinabangan pa tulad ng "Isaw"( chicken intestines) at "Adidas( chicken feet )".

Dito ko napatunayan na kaya ng Pilipino ang umasenso at magsumikap sa isang maginhawang buhay na wala ang tulong ng Gobyerno, paano pa kaya kung mayroon silang naitutulong sa mga Pilipino upang mapadali ang kanilang pagha-hanap buhay, malamang matagal nang umasenso ang bayan natin.

Something for Gilbert

2009-03-26T06:45:00.000-07:00

It was a Tuesday afternoon when me and my brothers decided to visit a friend who've died a week ago, we used to call him "hindot" a tagalog word for sex, i never knew why they named him that way but every time we call his attention the crowd would usually have a huge grin on their face.

This dude never made it through high-school but he was rich with friends everybody knew him not because of his unusual nick name but rather his jolly attitude towards anybody, he was a tricycle driver a common method of transportation here in Philippines, every time he waits for his turn to fetch any commuters he would be wearing his yellow jersey, sun glass, and his "short- shorts" and would usually be laughing boisterously with his own jokes, he died of heart-attack at the age of 26 he had a son and a wife but they were never married, i think his wife still doesn't know that he's dead, poor guy.

On the way to his grave, I've noticed how desperate people would be just to get some money,

I am not really sure if this thing happens to other countries but here in my beloved country a common sight of robbed corpses, rampaged graves, and tombstones with vandalism are pretty much what you'll see when Halloween and all soul's day comes.

After our little excursion I've thought about some things like poverty, life, and death, and how it affects our daily lives, about poverty could I blame those people who looted dead bodies, and tombstones even the gates and padlocks were not spared I'm pretty sure the money gained in their deed would somehow help suffice their daily needs but to do such a thing... about life, I have to admit sometimes i just take

it for granted for not taking care of my health, for drinking like there's no tomorrow or eating like It's my last day on earth, I do things which at the end of the day I'll regret, I meet a lot of people some of them would offer me friendship but in return I'll just ignore them, whenever I'm in bed I used to say that I only live once any good thing that I could do while I'm alive let me do them at once for I shall never have the chance or the opportunity to do it again; somehow it made my life colorful but regrets are unavoidable... about death, meeting your creator is a fact which all of us has to face the sooner the better, for a friend who've departed us i hope that for the few months we've shared together, few times we saw each other got drunk, few times we had our fists bruised from the faces of our enemies, all of those were time spent well my friend

Buddies

2008-11-16T07:22:00.000-08:00

The light of every morning which brightens our daily lives it has become our reminder that yesterday is over and a new beginning would be starting again with new challenges. Everyday i start mine with a deep breath and think as if i am on top of the world, somehow this makes me start it positively and look at my life as a big success story just like what my faggot instructor used to tell us everyday during home room.

It has been two years since I've transferred to my new school here in Pampanga and i had a lot of adjustments to make here, somehow I've managed to build my own comfort zone and adjust to how they live here, I've managed to start a crew, most of them are younger than me. Hanging out with them makes me feel as if I'm a few years younger, somehow i see myself inside their shoes but not entirely the way i was when i was quite a few years younger, some people would give me a compliment like as if i think like an old person and how i value responsibility despite of my young age, with them i could say that they have a long way to go in their stage of growing up, which makes me have a lot of fun hanging out with them. There are plenty of times wherein they would be amazed on my stories from becoming a town councilor, an activist, a fraternity member, an underground zine writer, and a collective member of transcendental anarchists, some would even ask how come i don't look like any of those, my reply is just a simple smile and somehow they get to fit it in their young minds.

As time went on i have developed a habit of asking them their feelings about their activities such as falling in love in their college days, their past experiences and then i think about my own past experiences and compare which one is better or which one is worse, some of them are quite amazing and some sounded as if they're just making it up in order to have something to say, the best part of our little group discussion is the relationship part; it's funny how i easily get them share their past relationships, their first loves, their broken hearts, long lost lovers, and tragedies, whenever we talk about it my stories were always the most tragic, from having a lover who got impregnated by another man, to having a lover who got married from an old Muslim dude, and lastly from losing one of my dream girl and losing my chance to make it up to her and stuffs etc. another good part of our discussion was about our faith, i have to admit i feel sorry to them whenever i lambaste them on some facts about Christianity and the flaws of their religion, i feel sorry from making them believe that there is no God or sometimes from ridiculing them from their practices, luckily they don't get pissed and they just take it as a trial from God himself as if i was Satan and i have to test them to earn their keep in heaven.

My life here in this new environment somehow seems to be a good beginning hopefully it'll have a good ending too, lesser dangers, lesser casualties, lesser heartaches, in this city a city of angels or whatever they call it my journey continues here.

Paris in Flames

2008-10-18T07:44:00.000-07:00

is it the distance which made us end all our dreams, or perhaps the lack of communication which made the both of us long for each other, or the countless fights which made us weep until we fall asleep?

none of this really matter anymore, for i am the one who should be blamed, "i'm sorry" has been a worn out word for the both of us now, what's left now is just a plain and simple goodbye...

i never really had the courage to ask you these questions because i know they would all just be irrelevant for a person who'll walk the aisle in just a few days from now, but still i couldn't help but ask myself; would he look at you the way that i looked at you? would he need you more than i needed you, would he write you letters everyday with the words "i love you" written on it, would he embrace you like a little baby when you're cold, would he record his voice saying how much you mean to him and make it his ringing tone, would he keep pictures of you and stare at it every night before going to sleep, these are questions which i hope would be answered not by words but by actions wherein i could see that he is indeed the better man...

i never knew that it would be like this, nobody told me, i guess nothing really stays the same, we move on and look forward and not to dwell on yesterday rather use it to build a better future, goodbye's maybe the perfect words for me now, as you wear your gown and as your friends cheer for you, and your family ready to accept this man as your beloved husband may it all be filled with laughters and unending joys, i will miss you so much, and if by chance fate would smile upon us again and let us see each other for the coming years i do hope that you would look at me as someone who almost painted a masterpiece with you, as someone who almost finished a novel with you.

Beauty the weapon to kill the Beast

2008-06-22T07:11:00.000-07:00

women the deadliest weapon in my perspective, the only weakness of even the mightiest warriors in our history and in any stories, but still nothing compares to a mother's lullaby the only way a mother could make her child hush, sometimes looking back on my past relationships I often ask myself if it's the beauty of a lady which makes me go crazy? or is it their wits which makes me turn into a slave in every word that they say? is it their lovely words, their voice or maybe the way they look into men like me with their gentle look which makes some of us melt like ice, or maybe it's the way they use force smartly and uncanny, well i guess knowing what's within a woman's thoughts is a secret never to be revealed for men like me.

I've been told that to understand a lady is to listen to her patiently and try to understand her feelings towards a certain event, person, idea, fashion style, hairstyle, shoes, books, dishes so that you would know what, how, and when to drop those famous three words, I never believed it but as usual curiosity kills an imbecile so in as much as possible i do those things unfortunately it backfires and some of the ladies I know treat me as their brother, some as their bodyguard or even worst as one of the third sex which pisses me off and make me avoid them as much as possible, honestly hearing their opinions amazes me because some views which I personally think would suffice a decision seems to look smaller whenever they tell their side, It's just amazing how they could make impossible things seem to be so easy like snapping a finger, or sometimes how they could make even the toughest kick-ass person act like a gentleman just to please them.

Sometimes I misjudge them for being so playful and immature which often leads into heartache and plenty of unwanted tears, I guess sometimes men would never try to broaden their understanding for them which leads to petty fights and unwanted separations, come to think of it the fact that we are all unique may be one of the stepping stones in understanding them, but still with that as a basis to know them more would never be sufficient to understand and to think like them, I'm not trying to be a love doctor but maybe it's the differences which makes men and women be the ultimate pair in this world.

Sometimes I wanted to ask my sisters about their ideas and experiences about their perception towards male but I am sure that they would just piss me off by telling me that we're all the same, probably a bunch of cowards who makes them cry, or maybe users as some of them would think of how we use them as objects to show-off in front of our friends, until now I'm thinking about the right words to ask them but the courage isn't there yet! somehow with my lady friends bit by bit knowing them makes the puzzle be more easier to break, maybe I'm just to fascinated with the glittering lamp of knowledge that even those a simple man couldn't know I am there trying to crack it up, trying to expose it, maybe this is what makes life beautiful some things are left to be unknown, some are left to be secrets, some are left to be forgotten, but maybe someday i could understand them more and with one of them i could finally dance my last and endless waltz.

Kiss

2008-06-21T07:59:00.000-07:00

soft red luscious meat
a glimpse could make my heart beat
slowly it turns on the heat

tender, tempting, a single touch
could make myself hush
so long I have waited for this kind of rush

let it touch mine
so that we could entwine
like hungry animals drunken by wine

FREEDOM

2008-06-19T07:36:00.000-07:00

A seed when planted needs water and sunlight in order for it to grow and to bear fruits. To start something radical or new someone must first have a plan, to travel somewhere man could go man must begin with a single step to reach his destination.

Today so many books and personalities became famous for issues such as revolution, spirituality, commerce, arts, etc. but all of them are rapidly degrading since the cause of all of it are no longer being comprehended by it's targets, somehow a handful of people are effectively absorbing whatever informations could be found in them, I for one uses them as my greatest weapon in my daily life, I have to admit without any knowledge specially in the Law i would probably be six feet under earth and my parents would still be mourning for the loss of their eldest son, somehow I feel so much blessed that I can still walk, talk, hear and see with thus a simple question is left in my head which plays on every time i lay on my bed, the question is; "to whom should I thank all these blessings".

Four years ago I was so excited with my new university, I was seeking for something new since I was gonna live alone which was good for me and free far away from our house, little did I know that it would somehow become one of the biggest twist in my life.

A.B. Political Science a very nice course description, I was told that if I graduated in that course I could pursue Law or run for any position in the land since it's the one of the easiest way for a politician to dress up, build charisma and win their hearts every time i read it I see myself walking with my bodyguards and people would address me as someone respected and love, some of my classmates wanted to be the same while the others wanted to continue Law, thinking about it a friend of mine finally convinced me to pursue Law in a known university in Manila for as long as we both do good in school, unfortunately I was young and stupid which made me neglect what I'm supposed to do and what my parents sent me there for.

During those times my passion for Philosophy was so great which affected my life pretty much, one of my favorite philosophers was Jean Paul Sartre with his unique philosophy of existentialism all I could remember is that the bottomline of it was that we should not let society be a hindrance for our rationality, me and my classmates though of it and acted as existential as we could some of us even joined activist groups since those were the times where we were so radical and we were all so defiant, at first we though of it as a leisure activity, we make friends talk about Marxists beliefs, Maoists ideals etc., but with all those fun we've forgotten that we are still needed in our classroom to have grades and that our families are hoping something greater from us after a few years away from them, we were late to know that because it quickly affected our studies which made some of us flunk and quit school.

At first I didn't care and I even recruited many of my friends from our town and in our classrooms fame quickly lightened my footsteps during those days we wore the red flag everywhere we go and some notorious gangsters even made us honorary members of their sets for how we show defiance and our own ideals, we were thankful for it since it did aid us pretty much for our cause, soon we've created a vast army of activists rockers, hip-hops, fashionistas, even instructors joined us but what we're proud of is that even the local townsfolk supported us with whatever we were doing and yes for me it was fun.

As time went on we've managed to mix our somewhat hidden talents with our cause, many wrote songs and formed bands which sung songs of struggle and defiance, some had talents in writing, poetry which became a good help. I have managed to form a band I was their front man I never had the talent of singing but I didn't care all I needed was the passion and the strong messages of our lyrics and somehow it caught the attention of our friends, with that we we're once again became known in this angle of our society, we became part of the Tarlac Hardcore Scene which many of us wanted from the beginning.

As time went on some of us went on with their lives and they lived it the way they wanted to, some said their goodbyes while some just left, for all of them we never branded them as deserters we know that somehow they needed to do that, I somehow continued it with almost anyone I meet trying to open up his or her eyes into something new or just to remove the conservatism and dogmatism in their minds, sometimes I succeeded but most of the time I end up being used or just the plain victim, soon I had to change my lifestyle and try to live another one because an emergency happened in our family death was finally knocking in our family and it wants to put an end to all the laughters me and my family members once shared, with that fact I had to give it all up and live in a new town, new friends and even in a new aim, at first I didn't like it because the environment was congested and there were lesser existentialists in it but soon I've managed to adopt with their culture thanks to all of those books that I've read about cultures, beliefs, and traditions.

As my days passed on my skill of gaining friends which is known as charisma somehow helped me in contacting some old friends, with them I finally saw how a catchy philosophy would somehow become real, it's "nothing in life is permanent, only changes is constant", I've seen how young and jolly friends had their wife with them carrying their babies, I've seen some with their fancy cars with their girlfriends, I've seen some with their work stressed and unhappy somehow I've realized that money isn't really what defines success.

Some of them were unfortunate because they never had the chance to graduate and have a job for their family, some just went away and as if they've forgotten us but it really didn't matter because those whom I've favored the most remained true and still present whenever I needed someone to bully or just to share my wacky rather dangerous experiences but the best part of it is that they we're there whenever I needed a crying shoulder to wipe my mucus off, some were there to even buy me a bottle of booze to unwind, some were there to take advantage of my weakness and use their body as an object of sin and an object of pleasure for me to somehow forget my own personal dilemmas.

Sometimes I wonder if there is something great waiting for me for the following day, sometimes whenever I see someone who acts, talks, and dresses someone from the past it's as if I am seeing someone from the past which makes me remind of all those treasured moments I've spent with them and all those activities which built me for what I've become now.

Somehow the question of whom to thank is slowly unfolding whenever I see some changes, they may seem to be somehow slow but what matters most is that there is a victory with all of my struggles, there is still joy for all of my sorrows in my
relationships, there is still happiness after today, there is still laughter waiting just around the corner for me to laugh like as if there is no tomorrow, as a friend used to tell me; "while you're young do anything you wish for as long as it does not harm anyone for you shall no longer pass that road anymore any good thing you must do, do it now not later, not tomorrow live your life".

Commute

2008-06-18T20:09:00.000-07:00

Two hours of traveling from La paz, Tarlac to Angeles City Pampanga sometimes it depends on the traffic and how fast I walk, everyday I hear some whines of jeepney drivers some are from the tricycle drivers most of them are about the inevitable increase in the price of gasoline, come to think of it whenever gas increases all sorts of products sold in the market increases the same thing with the traveling fare which is a huge waste specially to commuters like me.

Last night a jeepney driver who seemed to know me way back my high-school years recognized me and started to tell stories of their plight in their day to day work to safely bring their passengers in to their homes, He told me how hard it is to earn some income he even showed me his daily computations and proved me that sometimes they aren't earning anything, as a student I told him my side that for every time they increase their fare we are pretty much affected since I am not just spitting money out of my mouth, I also showed him my computations in my tuition, my daily budget for my meals and my traveling expenses he somehow stopped for a while and contemplated about my side.

Luckily I remembered the new Bio-Diesel act which i saw in one of the gasoline station in Capas, Tarlac I opened it up to him and told him that it is way much cheaper, I also told him the new model of Honda motors which uses water as a substitute for fuel he was surprised with those new innovations and told me that it's a good thing that there are those kind of innovations but it might take some time to reach the Philippine soil, well come to think of it all we need is just to be patient and wait for it so that they would finally be convenient with their day to day activities.

While riding a tricycle going back to our baranggay some of my memories of hitching a ride flashes back, absolutely free ride with some free cigarettes from the driver and some wacky stories that he might share, but those were some activities I used to enjoy a few months/years ago and probably I'd still be doing it if I'm with my crew, later on while I'm on my bed some new business ideas went in my head such as putting up a gasoline station, establishing a bus company similar to Victory Liner or Rabbit, or maybe just a small stall which sells food and beverages to commuters, with all those ideas I finally fell asleep waking up into a new morning, a new beginning for a student like me.

Educare

2008-06-17T08:22:00.000-07:00

A pencil, some dirty old sheets of paper, washed bag, polished shoes, and a bit of gel to fix his hair, that's how my little brother prepares for his short journey towards his school.

While he prepares himself i try to fix him some tuna sandwich, sometimes two to share it with his soon to be "new friend" in his new school, he was excited to see it because his friends will be his schoolmates, looking at his fat face i see myself like him always eager to make new friends sharing my "baon" even though it's just plain bread with some peanut butter in it.

Here in the Philippines if a family is fortunate enough they'll have a school boy with them or a school girl, with every step of their young child deep inside them hopes and dreams for them for the future of the kid lies inside the four corners of the classroom, looking back in my younger years I guess i was lucky enough to study in a prestigious school with lots of rich kids running around with their "yaya's" while I stare at them from a corner while I fill my stomach with lots and lots of junk foods.

Teacher, Cook, Engineer, Lawyer, Policeman, Soldier, these are some of the dreams of young kids like my brother, when I was in his age my biggest dream was to become a firefighter and I was so serious with it that I even make fire on my own by burning some leaves in our backyard and kill it with my urine, later on I decided to become a priest and take Theology but the year was 1999 and a classmate of mine told me that the world would end so why bother preach, that statement without any basis quickly change my mind and created fear in my heart with that i again decided to take up Political Science and be a lawyer to give justice to the poor since i live in a rural area in the eastern suburbs of the Province of Tarlac, I was so radical and defiant in those times which made my mind think that this country was hopeless again with that conclusion my studies went far behind and my radical side engulfed me which made my grades flunk.

Come to think of it i have no more reason to think of what has happened, all i have to do is while I am alive, I still have plenty of chances after graduation and only if i do pass all of my subjects. My colorful past is no reason for me to be gloomy and to think of it as my biggest mistakes
I'll just charge all of them to my experience and live my life again stand up loosen up but not to loose, strive for my goal whatever it is and be somebody not just for me but for my little brother for him to have an inspiration.

Minimum Wage: "Isang Kayod Buong Bansa Tutuka"

2008-06-15T06:13:00.000-07:00

Do not think of what your country can do for you, think of what you can do for your country - J. f. Kennedy

to work for food that is how we in a third world country would try to keep a family avoid starvation and malnutrition, a father goes to work to keep his pocket filled with enough money to feed his children sometimes his salary is not enough but what inspires me and my father is that no matter how hard the job is laborers would still know how and when to crack a joke to brighten up their workplaces. I guess men will always be men, never giving up on their task even if it stresses them too much or if their lives is in the line.

In metro manila workers are what makes it the capital of my beloved country, without them corporations won't function, and without laborers factories won't work, i know these because we have been in this kind of business for almost twenty years, and in my observation Abraham Maslow a known Philosopher is accurate with his famous Seven hierarchal needs of a man in a workplace but not all companies are perfect and they are not implementing this because it depends in the organization's culture and the way they implement change management.

A workplace must be accessible and it must be not congested for the workers so that they could concentrate in their job, Quality over Quantity that is one of the basics for a worker to know I know this because i know how a buyer would use his/her rationality in terms of his/her choices and preferences.

I am quite thankful for some N.G.O.'s who are aware of good corporate citizenship since it promotes a good image of a company and at the same time it aids the neighbors or the families of the members of a company, some good examples are celebrations of the employees birthdays, scholarship programs for their children, and a bit of bonuses all of these are good incentives to promote the loyalty of the laborers/workers.

Sometimes it makes me wonder how a worker could manage to feed his children, send them through college, buy their books, and take leisure every Sunday since it's known to be a family day,

if his salary is not enough? It makes me ask myself is it the Government's fault or is just about time for families to be thrifty? if that's the case maybe it all ends up on how we, Filipinos would contribute in our own little way so that the wages of laborers and farmers would someday be just enough to feed their families and children.

Otoo-san

2008-06-15T05:48:00.000-07:00

To follow my father's foots steps is one of my plans after college, he was always my inspiration, my pride and my idol for his unwavering courage against all trials and hardships, although we were only his second family I know that deep within his traditional mind that his love for me and my family is unending, honestly i never expected anything from this old man, all i know is that i need to know the ultimate fact that without him i would not be walking this earth, and i wouldn't be breathing this semi-polluted air.

He told me his ultimate dream, which is to help jobless Filipinos by employing them, and to educate their children, he showed me several Filipino-Japanese organizations, N.G.O's which never halted their mission and vision for a better Philippines, fortunately i am a member of a known activist group namely ANAKBAYAN( formerly Kabataang Makabayan ) with his ideals i somehow related our groups struggle for Justice and Liberty with his own dreams for Filipinos, too bad i wasn't born brown which would be a perfect caricature for a true brown Pinoy since we all know that Filipinos are originally Malay.

For me he is a hero, my Hero but my biggest plight is to tell him all of this in words but my plan is to show him that someday someone from his own blood would build his dream and never fail.

Aishiteru

2008-06-15T03:48:00.000-07:00

Eight months plus three months plus two weeks that's how me and this woman mustered all of our hopes but eventually failed, she made me cry made me almost kill someone, made me dream as if I'm a millionaire made me act like a genius, that's my weakness but these are all in the past and somehow our relationship as friends never fades, she was my courage, i was her hope, she was my strength, i was her weakness.

She always tells me that Men are from mars and that Women are from Venus, our arguments sometimes senseless makes us fight like animals similar to a cat and a dog, she know how to make me catch her and i know how to make her cry, she is a strong woman who thinks 10 steps ahead of me always dreaming of how to reach for her goals, she is a friend now hopefully until i have made it in our goals as winners.

Always attracted to our the Japanese culture, i used it as my advantage to make her attracted to me, luckily my knowledge in it made it magnificent as if i was his noble samurai and she's my geisha, back then we acted like young dreamers always after the radical side of humanity, fighting for something not even worth our time, fighting for something we think is right, but my mistake was to fight for her like what I've always promised her and in the end I am now the loser.

As years passed i tried to stand up, always 10 steps far from her while she stood up in her own like a super hero no matter how awful our break up was, she was strong and she kept her head up high still reaching for her dreams and finally she's just a few more steps towards it.

Little baby blue that's how i treated this lady, I met her through online and tried to conquer fate which unfortunately led into another awful break-up, she was younger than me which made me treat her like a walking diamond, always at her side never to let anyone touch her or look at her, she was still in love with her ex-boyfriend before i met her which gave my guts put up into the test but won her heart, she was sweet and lovely, always after for the comfort a lover could give, she was fond of childish activities which made me feel like a child again whenever we were together, our distance was never a hindrance which makes me think up to now how we've managed to be inspirations to each other, i was like her older brother, she was like my little princess, i walked the road for her, she danced it for me.

My past love life honestly seems so terrible which makes me be more careful and critical with how i manage my five letter weakness which spells H-E-A-R-T, my age seems to be silly to be writing this but for me it's another way to apologize for them for all of the heartaches I've given them, one of them even vows to sue me, while the other still threatens to kill me if she has the money, well i guess love is dangerous than any man made weapon and it is the ultimate truth.

Heroes

2008-06-15T03:20:00.000-07:00

fourteen years in our alma mater I've seen so many changes not just in our physical state but also in the way most of us see our daily lives, most of us are now graduates trying to make their time in school worthwhile some are still like me trying to earn a degree and probably put up a business of their own.

Every time i hear the word school, flashbacks of my unusual activities with my buddies runs through my head as if i was still doing them, some of it are vandalizing names of my buddies, some are drawing caricatures of our teachers, some are destroying school properties, some are cheating without any record of being caught, but one of the best violation me and my buddies did was to bring pornographic materials and trade with some younger kids and faculty members, well to sum it all up all we did in school was fool around and piss our advisers, eat as much as we could and loiter around the corridors, but one thing we never did was to bully younger kids.

Our batch is filled with gossips, mostly stupid ones and senseless stuffs some even corrupted our studies and made some of us wanted to quit school, but in the end we all saw each other wearing a silly black gown and march with our parents towards our directress and say good bye to all of those goofing around, i have to admit there are things that i would like to be changed during my high school days, but i guess changing them would just make things worse.

Every time i see this picture it makes me smile and think of how much time has passed, we were all young and honest, our hearts are still fragile, our minds are filled with dreams well some of us have succeeded in chasing them while some like me are still trying to earn their keep, unfortunately most of my closest friends are now living their lives as parents some are working for their family because they are the eldest, but the best part in these memories are the the tears some of us have tried to wipe whenever it is present due to the problems we have all fought as a team, no as a family.

FOOD NOT BOMBS

2008-06-08T09:16:00.000-07:00

In a field where every corner is a threat and there is danger camaraderie is needed a united but war and killing is not an option there are several ways a leader could eliminate war by fighting wars, this is by using diplomacy not hatred and greed, wars are for tyrants and for conquerors not for soldiers branded to fight for their country and not for soldiers who are there in the battlefield trying to kill their own fellow men in order for a single order and for a single command, this modern day men and women are no longer seeking fighting and weapons as an object of fear but as a symbol of defiance that whenever danger is approaching a rational man or a family would know when and how to defend themselves but never to kill for a selfish reason.

Food and starvation makes a man do anything in order to feed himself and his family sometimes even do something against the law in order to fill his stomach. Step by Step i have seen how a family grief for a soul who died in a battle in war, a soul who died from a stab wound for stealing something which do not belong to him, a soul who died trying to fight for what he think is right, and a soul still searching for something which is higher than any material desire known to man, may it be power, wealth, or even fame, some even tried for a miracle to happen, I was once like those people, i know what it feels to see a dying comrade without any relation, I've seen men die for fighting for something they think is right, I've seen men die for doing something which is against the law, but life goes on like a cycle no matter what we do, no matter how we try people would still seek for a better place to live, a safer place to raise their children, a better place to see the sky during the day with the sun shining, the stars still shining together with the moon, and the leaves still restless from the blow of the wind which reminds me that somehow there is salvation for all of us.

The taste for a place to eat with a friend never ceases, a place to feast with enemies seems not to exist in this age, but a house built to feed is known to be within ourselves, but a question rises which states when and how? If i die i know that this time is now, to lay down a weapon may it be a weapon of large destruction or just a simple rifle prepared to shoot at enemies.

The time is now to go and stop the fighting may it be for just a single cause or a cause to eat and feed starving families, a cause to rebuild a house for a blissful family, a cause to unite a single and unified kingdom, a cause to end all of the hypocrisy, as an individual i just hope that now is the time to act not to speak, a time to do not to ask, and a time to stand up and voice out what we want and how we want it to happen.

Food is always good, it can always taste perfect or best for as long as we are eating together with our loved ones or even with our enemies, food can always be an object to start a new camaraderie between nations in conflict, between brotherhood in wars, between families with misunderstanding, that is how I think conflict could be eliminated, that is how I think hatred would be stopped,
that is how I think men and women could survive in this day.

Songs of friendship can always contribute to stop conflict and misunderstandings but not to start a new propaganda to start wars, songs were made to inspire not to hate.

No Race, nor class could eliminate friendship with some songs or stories, no armies could stop a singing brotherhood hoping for peace, no weapons could bring fear to the hearts of those who seeks peace and camaraderie, not factions could stop a group of individuals united for a cause not for their selfish reasons but to unite all human beings in a world ruled by hope and freedom, not by wars and hatred.

LOVE & FRIENDSHIP

2008-06-08T08:38:00.000-07:00

Filipinos live the way they know and how they want to be, when to remember and not to forget their loved ones who have passed away, in this way we can commemorate their deeds and how people respected them. I have so many friends and relatives who have passed away each one of them has marked a memory and a scar deep within my heart, These are marks which I shall keep for the rest of my heart and in my dying days I shall treat it as a token of appreciation that whenever a loved one or a comrade passes away i shall remember those deeds that he or she have done so that one day i could imitate those deeds and be an example for those who would be witnesses of my existence here on earth, as for now I am a free man living in a free country ruled by a government which is criticized by it's own jurisdiction however in my humble opinion for every government in existence the players in it are also humans which are not perfect but they try to do so for the people within their jurisdiction. In my years as a youth leader i know and i am sure that there are many mistakes that i have done many of them were visible in the naked eye by my fellow youth and all of this are honest mistakes by a misguided individual trying to put a voice for what is needed.

As time went on me and my unique set of friends have noticed that somehow we are no longer getting younger for each day of our lives we are getting older and older getting weaker and weaker which makes us think why? what is our purpose? what is the meaning of our existence? how could we as liberated thinkers of this generation contribute for the betterment of our society not just for ourselves, me and my friends are radical dreamers some have stayed for their cause, while the others stayed true to whatever they wanted to do in order to give their families and themselves a better life in a better world, those were the days that we've tried our best in schools, in factories while some of us have worked, in the farms while some of us have harvested what they've planted, and for all of those who have died in a single cause for this country alone.

As i travel this unending days of my life i know where i would start and probably how it will end but there is one thing that i could never regret, and that is while i am alive i am living it the way that i wanted to but only for as long as i do not hurt anyone with what i do although i know when to use might as an instrument of defense, but never as an instrument of violence and anger. I was always taught to obey what is said to be the laws of this country and the same thing with what my family teaches me but still my unquenchable hunger for knowledge and wisdom never ceases which makes me study and know all of those taboos and forbidden which makes me starve for more, A few years ago "education the right of the students" is my always shout for every line and every picket that I have been to and yes the sweat and tears of those activists have been witnessed by my eyes, most of my comrades are long gone, most of them are probably alive with their families living in a happy life, for all of those who have died i know that someday and somehow all of their screams and all of their mistakes will be forgiven and be heard only with their unity as a single unified family or comrades making the whole world hear what we proud Filipinos want and what is vital for our families and our future.

Roads

2008-06-06T06:47:00.000-07:00

For every journey a man must begin with a single step going to his goal may it be for fun or just for his desire to do something for a cause which may do something far greater for his family, friends or even for his country. There are always options for a person to choose his path towards a never ending journey may it be a path like any of us would choose, a greener pasture, a life filled with riches and fame, or a path filled with hardships trials and danger i chose the second path for i know that it is the path of triumphant kings, i know i am just a confused individual but still as a man my hope for something far greater than what i know, or what i have shall never cease until my dying days.

I have crossed many fields with my friends looking for fun and new companions, many of them are gone now some are still with me and some are still going on with their personal lives with their loved ones and their kids, for every time i see a simple farm with a humble Nipa Hut memories of my past flashes back wherein most of my companions together with me would bring some foods and eat as if there is no more tomorrow after every meal we thank God that we are all still alive then our journey goes again step by step slowly but we all walk proud with our burning desire to seek shelter wherever we go and try our best to support every one as our known gift of camaraderie, all of us may not be related but what we're here for makes us bond like brothers a happy family.

In my travels I have met a lot of people, young, old, rich, poor, tough, weak, even geniuses but still my never ending questions may it be personal or not makes me look like a fool trying to put myself in their own shoes in order to know what it feels to be like them, i know that somehow I have been a notorious kick ass when i was young and yes my family have some dough for me to spare but all of this makes me think of the so called "crab-mentality" this is famous for kids and it is taught to every young minds, as for me i see it as a way of making those who've climbed far be pulled but not to be brought down but just to be reminded that there are still those left far behind the race for a blissful life.

Men are born to be somebody not just any ordinary hoodlums trying to act tough with the help of some booze, they are made to protect women when in need not to treat them as toys ready to be used to quench their lust or to be beaten up like a pulp for their mistakes, men and women are always made to co-exist, to love and to show compassion not to compete about who among them is the greater sex, not to compete about who among them can contribute for the society, not to compete about who leads the family, but to be examples for their children in order to be a guide for the future.

Teenagers are fragile to some negative forces of the society many of them are victims but still they never give up in life, they may be branded as hoodlums or lawbreakers but they know when and how to take care of themselves, their loved ones and their family. I was once like these teenagers trying to be a hardliner but in the end it's always me who loses, it's always me who takes the bruises, always me who throws the first punch always me who runs the fastest, this is how i live my life way back my younger years but i know that they are all experiences which should never be repeated and never be taught to some kids that i know, I am no longer getting younger my responsibilities and actions is now what defines me and the future me, no matter what happens i know that God has lead me into a safer path, God lighted my way back into his path.

As for now i shall continue my travels towards the unknown, my never ending questions to be answered, my quench for knowledge, and for my passion for experience in this country, only God knows what awaits, but I am sure that somehow with all of my experiences both bad and food God has never abandoned me, my family and my friends. I feel so blessed with all of it somehow looking at the blue skies every morning and whenever the wind touches my face i know that the day would start as blissful as yesterday, and when the night comes as i try to count the shining stars i know that tomorrow will never be brighter as yesterday.

GOLDEN FRIENDSHIP

2008-06-03T12:31:00.000-07:00

Farming in our town is one of the many ways a citizen here could do in order to fight hunger and any influences, here in La paz we know when and where to make ourselves think and do something worthwhile which would help our families eat and survive for a single day.

In this country one of the best ways to fight insurgency and any foreign influences is to give them an outlet for their fragile minds may it be about stories read in books, movies seen in the television, music heard in the radio or even by simply saying hi and hello to a stranger or to someone you know by face.

Filipinos are known in the entire world to be the bravest race, still we all know how and when to start and pick a fight, in my town there are people who are confused with what to believe but there are those few who would like to start a change in order for themselves and for the sake of peace.

Here in La Paz most of us knows how to entertain ourselves by using skills which are needed to be shown in the entire world, we all know that we can all be heroes in our own way for as long as it does not get us killed.

Proper Education, Jobs and opportunities is needed and voluntary actions not even for those known public servants or politicians as we all know, people are after for practicing what they preach not for what they can say, This country needs actions not words and specially not wars.

We are all divided by wars but we are all seeking for comfort and a perfect place to rest ourselves to experience love and peace, a place to know that somehow there is hope for those who are caught in the middle of battles, for those who are caught in the middle of misunderstandings, this country needs humble servants who knows when and where to rise whenever it is only needed, we are all not ignorant of the laws we know how and when to use it but not by force but by wits.

The laws are written but not spread which makes people become ignorant of what is right and wrong but still there are those people who knows the laws more than I do, there are those people who knows better than I do but it's all up to them to do what is necessary and what is right.

Ignorance is Bliss

2008-06-01T12:38:00.000-07:00

Our town is filled with surprises some may be funny while some may be awful, however I know that everyone in this town can always be trusted. All of us here are looking for an outlet for their laughters and joys no matter what little most of us have we know how to make ourselves laugh for as long as we do not break any law made for rational beings.

As individuals we are all fragile for whatever is seen in the television, heard in the radio even in small gossips which sometimes pisses most of us whenever we hear negative stories made from envious mouths, but still as rational and critical thinking La Pazenos, we know how and when to use our emotions, may it be anger, love, hope, and pride.

All of us loves our town, our streets even our families which inspires married men to strive for a greener pasture just to make their loved ones smile a bright one which makes me want to weep and cry. This is a story of our town our streets and how I perceive most of us here trying to make ends meet sometimes laws are breaked but still we all know that GOD is with us guiding us towards the shining light of love hope and courage, we know this because we are proud FILIPINOS no matter how we all look like, how we dress and how we speak.

In Our Defiance: The aftermath within a Battleground

2008-05-31T06:51:00.000-07:00

Wave after wave, young souls are trying to take comfort in almost any companion they could encounter, In my younger years I'm not sure about what to feel knowing I am one of them. Having fun by wearing abstract art or just plain trash trying to fit our bodies in them in order to dwell in, some are dead serious with what they do which leads them into the extreme sides of the ideologies, somehow in this sub-culture safety is no longer an option.

Young and old we know how to respect and execute camaraderie in order to show them that we want unity and peace not wars which scars our homes and make ourselves bleed, we sing songs of defiance as our only outlet to remove all the anger we feel from the hypocrisy we see and stupidity going on, somehow i feel tired of all this running along, from all of this shouting and screaming, someday I'd love to have a chance to give these sub-culture a voice, not only them but also those victims of the ideologies which poisons fragile minds of young and confused souls.

As one of the oldest member of this family somehow i feel responsible for the younger kids trying to seek shelter and comfort from how we remove the conservative side of the society and how we celebrate our freedom while we can, some of them thinks it's just about fun which harms them in their homes, in their circle of friends and specially on how people would look at them.

Some of us knows who among them uses the group as an object of illusion in order to make them look appealing and seductive to younger and more fragile to opposite genders which makes me think, what the fuck are we doing letting this happen. It also makes me think after organizing these small portion of our society where and how will we lead them? it sucks thinking of it and looking at them but still i never lose hope and i see it as an opportunity to open their eyes in a more positive and brighter side of their individual lives with us as their icons of courage, hope, fun and as their alternative family outside of their homes.

As we shout, as we scream our lungs out from different emotions that we feel everytime we hear songs which makes our heart burn harder makes us feel like we are getting closer towards victory, it makes us feel that somehow our voices are heard and yes we know that they are heard but not all of it are taken the way we wanted them to be taken, they may sound so radical some may even brand it as stupid and crazy, but we know that it is our method of spreading words of freedom, defiance, struggle and unity.

Family that is the exact word for what i see this rapid growing group of individuals growing in our town, a family unseperated by different beliefs and ideologies, a family no matter how hard we climb the narrow steeps of life, no matter how dizzy we get running around and around this cycle known as life, a family filled with debates which leads to a few curses sometimes bruises, a family which tries to rise from a dark side of any individual.

Step by step we shall rise and be heard, One by one we shall harvest what we've all planted and then finally a bittersweet taste of what's left in this battle scared lands of hope and struggle, we know that someday we would all go on with our separate lives but as long as we see oppression and hypocrisy more and more would follow us trying to mark our footsteps maybe better some may even be the best but we know that we have been there and still we're doing it.

Aristotle: Man is a Political Animal

2008-05-28T07:51:00.000-07:00

Philosophers' Philosophies are quite amazing since most of their own beliefs are studied and remembered inside schools, however in my own perspective Filipinos are Cheerful Beings created to celebrate life in any way that they could may it rain or shine.

We love making friends regardless of their faith, their affiliations and social status. In our small Baranggay of San Isidro within the jurisdiction of the beautiful Municipality of La Paz the people here are industrious and we all firmly believe that somehow and someday this small agricultural town will turn into a city filled with jobs and opportunities for graduates, but all of these takes time hardwork and courage.

We all know how to forgive and forget the sins of the past and we all know how to have fun even in just simple songs, We can always make fun of ourselves in order to give joy and laughter in the eyes of everyone all of this are taught in our local schools and local churches, we follow them properly for the sake of our small but peaceful town of La Paz we do this in honor of our Patron Saint Nuestra Senyora De La Paz y Buen Viaje.

We all firmly believe that absolute freedom causes conflict and destruction which is never in our dictionary, we know how to respect and abide laws, we know how to pay tribute for all of those martyrs in the past and how they risked their lives for something they cherished and believed, we are not anarchist, we are not communists, we are just happy and simple citizens of this town trying to bring laughter to those who would like to come and visit us all of these is not about hypocrisy, all of this is not about pride, they are all just about business and how we manage it.

We are all not ignorant of what people wants us to swallow we know how to play their games and we know how to stand up whenever we lose, we are proud of what we are, we are born warriors but not wild as they wanted us to look like, we know that somehow if one of us gets free from a huge cage, there would be a bigger cage waiting to trap us and imprison us once again.

Social Distortion II: a different arena

2008-05-26T19:10:00.000-07:00

The war between good and evil is unending heroes shall rise to battle tyrants, in our lives we do not know who these tyrants are and these heroes, we are all ignorant on which side is the righteous and noble because we are new conscripts, we are the new breed of warriors ready to fight and die for our family and for the struggle for survival, we are bred to chase our own dreams, carved into different beliefs in order to organize and to face the strife for a greener pasture, we are brave Filipinos ready to fight the day to day battle known as life, we are an army across the globe we are the weapon they fear searching for a better life.

We may be divided from our different classes, divided with different beliefs and faith, divided by our own false ego, but we all know that although we are in our own way in conquering our own destiny we know how our race rose from ashes and reached the peaks which is now known in the history of man and shall never be forgotten, there are several proofs in our country how we defended this land against oppressors, monuments of heroes who died for a proud nation, names and works which inspires people like me to struggle once again for freedom and for a voice which shall be heard, be remembered and never be forgotten.

I was born and raised in a poor town where farming, fishing and poultry are the main sources of income of the people, whenever water runs out the farmers are affected since they need good irrigation in order to take care of their plants, same for the fishermen, unfortunately La Paz my town is a catch basin for flood water which hinders foreign investors to start up new businesses here such as factories, additional farming methods which will surely give work for the people here, Schools and are also a necessity for the youth so that drugs and unwanted vices may be avoided, the four corners of a classroom is still the best molder for future leaders.

Sports is also another form of entertainment here it helps strengthen the young spirits of the children which helps them chase their dreams for themselves and their family, i was an athlete in my younger years a runner, i loved what i did i didn't mind how far i could go as long as i could feel the air in my face because i know victory is always at hand.

Sometimes it makes me wonder how a simple man could conquer their destinies like Genghis Khan, Musashi Miyamoto, Che Guevarra, Mahatma Gandhi and Napoleon etc. I envy them for their God given gifts of charisma and their love for their kinsmen specially their pure courage to fight and die for their noble causes.

Shai-Hulud: The Beast Within Me

2008-05-20T19:32:00.000-07:00

The code of every man depends on their honor and dignity, i am a man who fails every day but i stand up everytime i fall.

I know how to keep my pride for the sake of my family and friends, i am an ambitious man sometimes i wish impossible things to happen, some sounds so funny and some sounds so lame, but i have to admit i am a person with a lot of ambissions, as a Nikkea-Jin i vow never to forget what wars has scared my beloved motherland.

When i was 16 years old me and my best friend we're so blessed it was raining and he reminded me to register in the upcoming Sangguniang Kabataan Elections, luckily i won little did i know that i'll become the young leader of our town thanks to my supporters and my beloved families.

As time went on i lived my life as a happy go lucky individual careless and free doing everything i want as long as i have the opportunity and the money, when i was a public servant i was so radical which made me establish an activist group in Baguio City, and now i established one which is known as East Central Critical Resistance.

The groups ideologies are amazing which wanted me to have a single chapter in our small but beautiful town, it's job is to maintain peace and harmony in our town we are many, members are coming in some of the old members have remained loyal but still many of them remained loyal and true for what we're here for, young, old, women, gay, b.i., there is no discrimination because we love each other and we are like brothers, brothers who do not use force as an option but diplomacy with force as our main weapon.

We are like soldiers, unaware and unwanted, we feel like we are God's unwanted children that's why many are joining us but some of us like me are pioneers and we know that there is a God or a supreme being guarding all of us, i know this because without him i should be dead right now, God has mercy, God alone saves.

My love goes to all of my friends and families, relatives or not respected or not, a rich man, a beggar, anyone as long as he knows how to remember and not to forget what our roots is all about.

i am Yoichiro this is our lives, this is who we are, we are everywhere, at the same time we are nowhere.

we are lost and blinded, but we never give up so we still seek refuge to almost anything new and amazing in our lives, and yes i have to admit all of this are just about our material life, and yes i am a material person always seeking refuge of almost anything new and exciting, always aware but late of what's new.

We all work as individuals for money and for our loved ones, most of us act as fools trying to gain knowledge we act as if nothing is happening in our country, but many are using it in order to gain knowledge and power, but little did we know that no matter what we do, not matter how we try hard we are still prisoners, prisoners like a small animal trapped in a cage trying to break free but sooner will be surprised that there is a much larger prison waiting for us.

EL Estupido

2008-05-20T08:39:00.000-07:00

Prostitution in our country and the better way to stop it is to trace it's roots and finally put an end to it, and if by chance someone will find out the roots of this huge stupidity all of this hypocrisy will end, long ago Japanese Soldiers used women as their outlet for their excessive lust, but little did they know some of them remained loyal to their sex slaves, their sons are known as Nikkea-Jin they are everywhere and their are also like us looking for shelter, looking for comfort and for love.

But the Past is always the past and many of us are also seeking refuge for what's remaining in this land, Nikkea-Jin alike or not.

Someday we'll find the answers for these questions, someday all of us will be free from this huge stupidity going on with our lives, all we need is our courage and devotion for something larger than ourselves, My stories are never ending they will never forget how someone like me a simple kid trying to gain knowledge and fortune in this land of a millions promises, a land of many ideologies, a perfect battleground for our daily lives, thinking of it as a free man walking around our beautiful town it's normal to create groups filled with ideoligies filled with proud and loyal members who are willing to create a critical and new way of system not for ourselves but for everyone, regardless of their color, race, ethnicity and other affiliated groups, we are proud Filipinos we are everywhere and we are perhaps the weapons they fear, but we do not create conflict we only create groups like our own in order to shape this mishapen history known to man as history.

We are the proudest race, we are everywhere we may be the person cleaning your houses, we may be the person washing your clothes, we may be the person having sex with you everyday, I know this because i am the proudest Filipino in this planet.

A lot of people are underestimating our capabilities very much, but we don't really care for as long as our nation is known to be the richest country known in the history of man, all humanity will never forget us, how we have strived and failed, how we made mistakes, how we fell down and rose in the highest peaks and branded the name of our country for it's long lost grlory.

We work for food, for money, for shelter, and for our childrens near or far. We love each other so much which makes me think how hard could a simple man forget the history and this country which became a battleground in our memories.

We are all gentlemen and ladies, we know when and how to pay tribute to any order known here in our country, we respect each other so much that until now many for us are fighting for the long ideologies which are fought by brave warriors around the world in order to immortalize their ideologies and not their names, some of us are so lucky to be seated in orders which gives them powers to order anything which they desire, we love each other that until now some of us are acting stupid in order to gain control and power to fight a new ideology old and new, i for one tries to ac stupid and seeks for refuge in any person i meet, i respect them so that someday some of them like me would be remembered and never be forgotten.

El loco

2008-05-17T09:23:00.000-07:00

as long as there is light along the road all of us will never be afraid, it is our guide against the darkness which engulfs this earth, we are blessed with the sun which shines across our planet, we love our planet we do not want it to be laid into waste, we work, we plant, and we harvest almost anything in this huge rock.

life is a circle of games as long as we know how to play it we can discover our inner self and i believe that by conquering your own destiny shall show your true identity as a person.

as businessmen we should know how our business works, we must inspect almost every bit of our products because who know who might be eating them or using them for any cause.

21 years in this planet my parents are working hard trying to feed, and employ the proud laborers of La Paz and they know us pretty well regardless of our beliefs.

We celebrate any birthday of our employees by giving them money which they use for feeding their family and friends.

In my age I've met a lot of them young and old and almost everyone of them knows me pretty much, every time i see them i know they know me because they once saw how little me used to be the little boss of my family's business, I love them like a brother and a sister both young and old.

My hair is just a reminder of how vain i am. It's my own cross so that if it grows i know how much i have sinned in this years that i am living in this planet, it's colored black, as a symbol of how sinful I am. But still there are things going on around us which we are all unaware, which spices our daily lives. Unfortunately people are forgetting the one way for our salvation which is our faith, i may not be a priest by i am serious for my devotion to the one true god watching over us from time to time.

God is the only person i fear in my life, Priests and Nuns are teaching the way for salvation, Imams and Gurus.

I've met plenty of them in my life, and yes i believe everything they say no matter how they act and look.

The Weapon They Fear: The Harvester of Sorrow

2008-05-17T07:57:00.000-07:00

Proper Education, Food definitely not Bombs is what most of the townsmen here in our small but beautiful town. We love to celebrate almost anything here as long as someone wishes to hang out with their friends someone would just buy a bottle of liquor some cigarettes and voigla! you now have a new set of friends.

There are many students here who are willing to help their family, even to sacrifice their own self fighting for a single cause, FREEDOM.

Filipinos are born brave, both small and tall all of us here have different beliefs and opinions but what I am very proud of is that they are all willing to stand up and fight for what is right.

I feel so much blessed to be a farmer, a farmer of almost everything found in our backyard, which makes me think of some of our local songs such as "bahay kubo".

There are many workers here in this town strong and proud, we are proud of what we do and how we accomplish of our day to day work which depends on our minimum wage, but still no matter how cheap some of us may receive in our small time jobs we are together united as one, a single race, a single family ready to fight any enemies of the state as long as there are those forces of this country willing to fight together with us.

Filipinos are disciplined people always seeking for something where they could try to make some living in order to feed their families and beloved one, we are known to be very patriotic and also known to be meak whenever there is someone superior.

I feel so proud every time i walk the streets of our small baranggay where most of the townsmen are so excited to meet new friends, classmates, teachers, and even relatives working overseas trying to make a living for their family.

Every time i see my face in the mirror i know that there is still a chance for all of us to unite as a single country regardless of our race, ethnicity, and social class, we are proud yet so meak.

This is our story, This is our lives, This is who we are, we are everywhere, we may be right next to you, we may be the person feeding your dogs, we may be the fighters of our nation, we may be your maids, we may be your nurses, we may be poor single moms trying to work for our children we are everywhere. I know this because i may not look like a Filipino but as long as i know how to speak Tagalog, Kapampangan, a bit of Ilonggo, Ilokano and Chabacano, i know that i am Filipino because i sincerely believe that all Filipinos are worth dying for.

EnCiRCled

2008-05-16T12:09:00.000-07:00

Philippines as a 3rd world country is like a huge battleground for human beings, no matter what color, race beliefs, ethnicity or traditions, whenever i hear and see anyone trying to preach anything i try to listen as long as they try to tell it to someone who has the authority to show it to the entire masses.

Born in a 3rd class town makes me know and see how brave Filipinos do anything
in order to live and survive the day to day battle. against hunger and strife.

Somehow i feel so blessed that i have a lot of experience both good and bad, it makes me never forget those experiences that i have living in our beautiful town of La Paz. I have to admit that asking people and their personal experiences makes me feel as if they all have a cross which they are carrying everyday, but still i am proud to be able to ask them and take pictures of the places that I have been.

Yesterday i was in Makati with my father, an exporter for almost 21 years, he and my mom have been together exporting okra, saluyot and other vegetables which are planted and exported here in our town of La paz.

Sometimes i wonder how the media could say that there is a rice shortage because living here in the third region makes me feel so dissapointed because the third region is the perfect place where rice grains are planted harvested and sown.

We have been together for almost 21 years a HARDCORE family wherein all of us are striving trying to make a living out of what little that we have. I am a farmer of my father and my mother and i am proud to be given the opportunity to touch the soil wherein dead bodies are buried and remembered, a land tilled and fought for by farmers, yes i am a proud farmer, perhaps the proudest Filipino farmer in this beautiful country, but born and raised in a rural area like La Paz.

Here in our town way back early 90's me and my friends used to swim into fishponds, sometimes we're so naughty we throw mud at each other in order to have fun, that's our idea of fun years ago but i can still remember how little me used to run around our town searching for new friends old and new.

I love my town so much that I'll do anything as long as it would have proper education specially to the youth, work for everyone in order to have food and balanced diet.

I love this country very much, and this is my choice where to live, work, raise children of my own, and die, yes this is me and my town, my beloved hometown Nuestra Senyora De La Paz y Buen Viaje.

Infernal Trio: The Second Liberator

2008-05-11T08:46:00.000-07:00

My war began the day i saw my face in a mirror and heard the words which came out of my mouth, this war is not yet won, and i think it will never end.

me and my army doesn't use any weapon... no we don't want wars instead we fight wars, to make it clear the commander of our enemies is the source of war, we could not verify it's source and we are not sure of it's location but we know as long as there is something wrong and something reigning supreme using fascism me and my comrades will rise out of the dirtiest slums, poorest neighborhoods, crappiest schools, offices, grocery stores, even in the highest governing body there is known to man, some of us are to old to lead but their spirit is still there never to be forgotten, some of us sings them as our battle cries, some of us makes instruments of battle cries which surely catches the attention of the masses, rich, poor, educated, uneducated, oppressed and even the oppressors.

We are anywhere, we are countless nobody knows how we are organized even my comrades doesn't know how we become one, those like me knows how. We are branded as hoodlums, bandits, freeloaders, assholes, parasites, even pretenders, some takes it so serious which makes them abandon the battle, but we do not judge them as deserters we brand them as losers, we don't hurt them rather we laugh at them.

We are not typical soldiers, we are free and we know how to celebrate it. Some of us hates the rituals of our celebration of our freedom some of us enjoys it so much which eventually ends their miseries, we feel sorry for those souls lost in this war some of us are kind enough to look back at them for we firmly believe that they are the biggest casualties of this battle.

We know how to respect, we know how to pay tribute to martyrs unsung or left alone behind the curtain veils. We know how to love, lustful love, passionate, even the oldest way which is my choice of loving a lady. We know how to get angry but we also know how to control it pretty much and when to unleash it but we are sure that nobody gets hurt both innocent and guilty. We know our roots pretty much which makes us wonder why most of us doesn't look like the original inhabitants here but we're those who are in the frontlines.

I as an individual my mission is to trace down historical landmarks and see to it that they are preserved and properly kept as symbols of peace so that no more bloodshed may occur in our beloved birthplace, our beloved country.

I feel so blessed that somehow every time i see my face in the mirror it reminds me of one proud race and how they died for honor and not for victory. It's an old practice by this race but somehow looking at their flag reminds me of how brave they were during those days.

My old man used to tell me that some of them are ashamed of what happened to them, i could see it in his eyes everyday he shouts whenever he sees errors and weaknesses, it's odd but I am so proud that his blood is also the same blood which runs through my veins and that my name is somehow a trademark.

I am his son which makes my heart burn brighter inside my dark soul, it gave me the ability not to show any sign of affection to whatever is happening in our surrounding like a king, but still i am not after the glory, i am here for a cause never to be preached and bound to disappear someday.

I do not have any mobile suit available to fight the war nor to make one, I do not have the power to travel time, I do not have a shining sword to slash my opponents, what i have is a burning heart ready to slice open my foes, a clear eye which sees even in the darkest pit known to man, i have a small body not that tough but willing to beaten black and blue if necessary.

Nuestra Senyora De La Paz y Buen Viaje

2008-05-08T23:04:00.000-07:00

Working hard trying to make ends meet, that's basically how most of the townsfolk here fights starvation, poverty and malnutrition. Farming, poultry, and fishery these are the main source of income of the locals, some would have enough money to start their own business which aids their families in the coming months and years.

Found in the south east of the province of Tarlac, La paz was one of the few Revolutionary Government thanks to the early brave townsmen led by the hero Gen. Francisco Makabulos, the later years was led by Martin Aquino as the first Gobernadorcillo.

Fast forward, Fascists rose, martyrs died, but the town remains to be a typical barrio, no signs of commercialism, still asleep from it's thousand years of slumber waiting to be awaken again and take back what's righteous for the towns glory.

My family grew up here, most of them migrated to the states and to Canada, some just moved to Manila while most of them are still here, still capable of smiling despite of the hot sun shining from above, still capable of cracking old school jokes despite of their small wage. The barrio style, this is what my father used to call the locals for their sense of well being despite of how hard their life is, i made a lot of friends here some stayed, some married at a young age while some left for manila for a better life. Twenty one barrios some are reported to have insurgent acts while some are reported to have numerous sightings of ghosts, but i don't care I'm not even sure if those rumors are true, i love this town it feels like as if History will be written here someday, someone will make it happen not for the persons selfishness but to crown the town as his/her birthplace for his coming conquests.

This town reminds me a lot of memories some are bad but all of them are treasured, i can still draw a portrait of how the town looks like 15 years ago, i can still recite the exact order of the elected officials who became mayor of this town, I still now the spots where ghosts are told to show every halloween, i still now the shortcuts routed around the 21 barrios, i know all the faith healers and how they amaze some of the townsfolk with their miracles, this town is where i plan to settle down, this is where i plan to see my grandchildren learn how to walk, how to throw a stone, how to throw a punch, how to woe a girl, how to fall rise again and be a man.

I want to witness the first factory be built in this soil, i want to see the first mall built here in this town, i wan to witness the first batch of college graduates in this place.

Harvest what you planted, that's one of the oldest preachings of families here, too bad not all kids and teens follows it. Everyday i see to it that i take a walk around our market to see how some of my friends carve meat out of a huge pile of dead pig, how some of them shout the prices of their products, how some would offer me a ride in their trike, whenever i manage to steal a moment in their busy lives, i ask them "kamusta na?" some of them would give me a good smile and answer back "ayos lang! ikaw?" while some would just give me a nod then smile and then leave, sometimes it makes me feel like as if i did something hideous which makes them treat me as if I'm a stranger.

Every night i walk the streets of the market, trying to check how things are to my surprise new stalls are open, there are new vendors of grilled corn cubs, additional vendors of b-b-q, more kids running around trying to be "cool" bystanders who smokes like an adult, new faces in the police force, new vandalisms etc.

Some of them knew me so much that they would try to catch my attention just to pay respect, some would knew me just a bit and try to show their angst towards me, it makes me ponder on my stupidity way back when i was a kid, the kick-ass of the market, even the ladies would still know me for my unique personality, the teenager who respects women but still spits on the bloody faces of his foes, the lad who walks his grandmother across the street, the kid who throws stones at vehicles trying to burn the road, yeah.. that was me.

Every night same routines would occur same faces would wait for time to strike at it's finest, the same people would wait for brand new stuffs to happen, it doesn't really matter if it's good or bad as long as it could burn their time, life here for the locals is boring, but i find it interesting very interesting that makes me want to start a change wherein they would be liberated from their conservatism and the dogmatized system, something which would waken up their hearts, tremble and search for something greater that their normal lives...

The Infernal Trio

2008-05-08T02:41:00.000-07:00

Two grade schoolers we're sent to the office of disciplinary actions, they were caught fist fighting while the rest of the class we're cheering for both the kids, the other ended up with a bruised lip while the other ended up with a swollen cheek, inside the office both of them are crying not because of the pain but because of the fear that they might get punished by the directress.

Both were told to bring their parents the following day so that their punishment would be dealt with properly.

As years went by these two kids became aloof to each other the other gained new set of friends while the other lived the rest of the year alone filled with hatred.

It was the fourth grade when a new kid in class started to reign, he was the biggest, the smartest and yes the strongest, he bullied everyone the girls the boys and even the teachers, everybody hated him, some of the boys wanted to stand up and face him, finally one kid tried to stop him but ended up with bloody nose during those days that kid became his favorite toy, messing up his uniform every morning before the class begins, ate his food and stole his money the poor kid couldn't do anything until one day he fought again, they fought for two hours both we're sweating and tired of the blows taken by each other but none of them wanted to quit, finally they came to their senses and sat down stared at each other and laughed just laughed.

As time went on these kids grew up lived their lives as brothers not by blood but by a pact that no one could break.

Every summer they held a game wherein they'll fight no holds barred, no fouls, no weapon, each fight would stop whenever there is blood on the face of any of the fighters or if anyone of them would tap-out, the individuals has their own discipline to use, Chi trained in muay-thai, kyokushin-karate, and boxing, Abe trained in Judo, San-Shou, and Tae-Kwon-do, Jan trained in boxing, wrestling, and Jiu-jitsu,

Swollen lips, bloody nose, bruised cheeks, are just a few of the ailments some of us would end up but we don't care for us it was fun and it somehow makes us strengthen our body and develop our skills in fighting, luckily none of us ends up with a broken bone, just a few bruises which would heal in just a few days.

The venue is not permanent sometimes we do it in isolated places such as farms, abandoned houses, even the time wasn't fixed we had fun doing this, during the night and day, each and every fight we felt something greater than any achievements we had in our life, awards wasn't even close, money couldn't reach the blissful feeling we have for each and every time we did it, we feel like we have a fighting chance in life, it's hypocrisy, it's dull cycle, and it's boring goal of successful life.

Our plight was we couldn't define happiness we wanted to feel it as if we we're kids who would be awarded with a piece of candy for every good deed we had, we felt like our hatred is enough to crush Satan and his minions, we felt like we could fight man for the rest of our lives, conscience is the only thing which helps us to be Just towards others and be Righteous to every thing and every goal we would accomplish.

If someone would ask what happened to us on or the other would make up a story which would make us burst in laughter after the person asking walks away, this was how we had fun some would look at it as stupid and sick but for us since the three of us have tested our loyalty amongst each other, and how none of us would abandon anyone
in face of death, this is how we sharpen our weapons, our body so that someday in front of the grave of one of our comrades we could say that this person is proven and tested, he may be withered but he shall never be forgotten because brawns and spilled blood made us brothers, brothers in arms.

The Remnants of the Aftermath: a broader look inside Tarlac City

2008-05-07T20:06:00.000-07:00

It's been 21 years looking back in those years made me realize some things, one of them was the time for me to live this life in a different edge the other was to do it as quick as i can. This country is the perfect place for me to live, battle scared, blood was spilled on it, and most of all countless martyrs have died for something greater than any material desires, something greater than man-made riches, FREEDOM.

Our country is made up of many unique cultures some are unpracticed and forgotten some are even branded as taboo, but most of them are brought proudly by some Filipinos wherever they go, loved, embraced and sworn never to be forgotten.

I feel so lucky to know a lot of them, and i pity those people who doesn't give a shit about it, the biggest irony of some people living here is that they try to act like a different race and they try to live a different lifestyle which makes me wonder what's wrong with their sense of nationalism, because i seriously think that the people here lacks that, most Filipinos are dwelling on politics and the latest trend seen in the television, I mean what happened to nation building? what happened to unity as a single race, a single culture known here in Asia, it makes me think how hard a leader could start change for good if not even a single member of the community would not like to aid.

In Luzon one of the busiest town here in northern Luzon is Tarlac City, found in the third region and known to be part of the former Rice bowl of Luzon before the Mount Pinatubo eruption, but since then the locals have struggled so hard that they've managed to restore the former glory of the region.

it's been a while since I've last bought a cup of Buko juice in a corner in F. Tanedo, it's been a while since I've last threw a stone in the Bridge near Mcdonald's going to Tibag, it's been a while since I've last sat down and smelled the fresh air in the grounds of Luisita mall, it's been a while since I've last wrote another vandal in San Nicolas, it's been a while since i've last shopped in the wet and dry market of Tarlac, i have to admit i missed living in this city, noisy but industrious the smell of the air tastes bitter compared in the local barrios, the streets are filled with vehicles old and new, some are so unique that i seriously think that it should be featured in the Guinness book of records.

I have to admit i miss the little me running around the small village of San Sebastian , waking up early morning jogging with my dad and little sister, performing Tai-Chi then racing back in our humble abode ready to feast with what's cooked by mum.